Oh, wow, the failboat has arrived at the dock, and its pilot today is Christie Ridgway.
Christie Ridgway is the author of three books I thought were chock-full of potential: the "Malibu & Ewe" series, How To Knit A Wild Bikini, Unravel Me, and some upcoming book whose title I have already forgotten and don't care to look up again.
I got as far as page 11 of HTKAWB before I ran into this:
His last chef had worked out great. Sandy was businesslike, quiet, and a lesbian to boot. When she'd recommended her friend Nikki, Jay had assumed--which reminded him of one of his grandfather's favorite old saws, "Assume makes an ass out of u and me"--that she'd be of the same sexual persuasion.
But after studying the woman on his doorstep... well, to put it bluntly, this leggy darling was no dyke.
OH HELL NO. I'm not interested in continuing with this. I'm not interested in reading any story in which the leading man -- the so-called "romantic hero" -- would think this shit. I'm not interested in any author who thinks it's cool for her romantic heros to think this shit. Give me a '70s romance with a "no! don't! stop!... no, don't stop!" rape scene any day over this, because I do not read books to get in-your-face homophobia.
And what the hell does that mean, "this leggy darling was no dyke"? I'm sorry, I didn't realize that attractive, freckled women who wear their hair in pigtails and look younger than they are can't possibly be gay! (Has anyone told Willow Rosenberg?)
Near as I can tell, friend Sandy never shows up in the actual book. Gee, what a surprise! The author, who thinks homophobia is a cool trait for her hero, didn't want to actually include a "dyke" as a supporting character? Wow, color me shocked.
Amazon.com also has a review which points out that there is no knitting content in this book -- a passing mention of a knitting shop and that's it. The rest, the reviewer says, is explicit sex.
Hey, I'm totally up for explicit sex. I have no problem with explicit sex. But let me share a NSFW tidbit I found while thumbing through looking to see if Sandy ever showed up:
And then he smiled, because he realized what she wanted. "Go ahead, cookie. Go ahead and come."
And he pulled out again and then moved deep, his gaze trained on her face. She quivered, lifting into his thrust, and as he watched her body start to tremble, her eyes flew open.
His cock erupted. His heart shook like an earthquake. The hand that wasn't on hers grasped the back of the sofa to ride out the rocking and rolling world and all the while he was conscious of not only the incredible, screaming pleasure, but that blue and that green pair of bruja eyes.
His... cock... erupted. He's got a volcanic cock and a seismic heart? This isn't a person, it's a tectonic plate.
Also, bruja? Seriously? (Spanish for "witch".) Where does that come from?
And go ahead and come, cookie?!
Yeah. I'm backing away so fast I'm going to end up with paper cuts or something.